Love and weening

Ron, I know how you feel. . . I mean about your mother dying.

When I think about C. dying I cannot even begin to describe my devestation. Of course it
is different: we (C+J) are one the opposite end of the bell-curve that is life. (Me dying first is a better analogy, though a different perspective— until I saw how well C. does without me the thought of leaving him while he still needed me was even more devestating!)

On the other hand—this week of freedom from C. has been amazing. It feels like I got my life back: friends, art, performances, work, parties, sex—suddenly all that is possible again!

Or even just watching a movie or reading with the light on. . . or sleep. . .

We will reconnect in two days time and in a way I cannot wait. BUT I am still producing milk (some)! What to do? Will things just go back to me be his cow? Will it never end?

But since he seems to be fine with getting comfort and nourishment from other sources, I might have a solution: Maybe I could order a large busted sex doll and put some milk in her breasts (in bottles maybe?). If he goes for that it would be a great leap forward in terms of me being allowed adequate amounts of sleep.


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