Father Dreams:

1) Jo. . . I had so little sleep last night that I was able to take a 2-hour dayNap. . . at some point, I was awakened (or OVERtaken?) by the feeling—no, the certainty—that my father was here, asleep with my mother in their bedroom. . . I thought: this is REAL— he IS alive—and when I got out of bed and walked down the hallway and peered into their room. . .YES, he was there…andTHEN I woke up…I hopeYou & C. are WELL! (is he over his illness?)

Mata ne! Ron

2) I see it is 3AM on the clock in the bedroom in the picture of the dream in the book. . . that is my usual bedtime now (unless it is 4 or even 5). . . I dream of my father often, and always know he is a ghost. . . he was LIKE a ghost months before he died. . . taking sleeping pills and invariably wandering into my room at 1 or 2 AM to sit in the chair at the foot of my

bed (placed there for him), half-asleep. . . maybe a haunting??

3) I have had close to a dozen Father-is-Alive-and- Well dreams: they are always disorienting, and make me feel sad and a bit frightened. . .WELL, even though I can never successfully interact with my father in those dreams, I DO get to SEE him (and that was often the way our non-dream relationship was, too)

SHRINE/relics

2017-09-11 19.39.54

(the last items of food my father requested a day or two before his final hospitalization. . . on the shelf in the pantry, untouched for 6 years now)

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